So I want to talk about telling people difficult things. Sometimes as leaders, we have to be blunt with ourselves and others, telling them things they need to hear, even if it means that we may lose their friendship, or business, or something else. Telling someone something difficult can be challenging, but it's a process we all go through when we don't agree on everything. 
I've had to do this quite recently, as one of my friends began dating someone that was not well suited for her. He wouldn't reciprocate the sacrifices she had made for him, as she would buy him dinner all the time and help him with his work. I got really frustrated watching her be frustrated with him because I knew she deserved someone way better. But I was nervous to approach her because I didn't want her to think I was judging her for dating this man or that I wasn't going to support her. My nervousness ended up causing me so much anxiety the next few times I spoke to her as if I had some big secret to get out, and I began trying to avoid talking to my friend. Finally, I just decided that I needed to come clean and tell my friend about her boyfriend and my thoughts, as I wanted to be honest. I spoke to her over the phone, and while it was hard for both of us, I felt really good afterward and found my anxiety had vanished.
We hate sharing bad news or giving honest opinions, don't we? We think that telling small white lies are better than saying the truth, because we feel we're sparing feelings by hiding our own opinions. But who are we kidding, we're just giving ourselves more anxiety and drawing out the drama. In my own life, I've found that it's better to just be honest and blunt with people, saving time and drama. So I wanted to give you some tips on how to make it easier on yourself to tell someone something difficult.
1. Pick a good time
If you're worried about someone, do not tell them about a choice they made five years from now. It's not timely and they'll not care by that point. If something is worrying you, bring it up now, while it's still recent and fresh for everyone. They'll be more grateful that you did.
2. Be Honest
Enough beating around the bush, honesty is the best policy. No more white lies, no more apologies. Your feelings are valid, and you have a right to say them. The person will hopefully respect and thank you for your honest observations and opinions.
3. Do not be mean
While honesty is the best policy in this case, do not be mean about your feelings. Do not act rudely towards the person you're talking to, or condescending about their decisions. If they have acted mean towards you, act respectful, and show them that you're above reciprocating meanness. It'll go a lot smoother and avoid any arguments if you keep your calm and don't act mean.
4. Realize that they may not agree with you 
This may seem self-explanatory, but it's easy to forget in the heat of the moment. The person you're speaking to may not find what you're saying agreeable but hopefully will understand why you are saying that thing. Know that you may not come out of that conversation being the most liked or popular, but you will hopefully come out with a feeling of peace, knowing that you have gotten something stressful off your chest.
5. Do not confront the person in a public area
If you're going to tell someone something difficult, think about their feelings and dignity, and have the courtesy to do it in a private setting. If you're firing someone or telling someone that they made a mistake, most people would prefer to hear this news in a private setting, as they have time to collect their thoughts and avoid public embarrassment. If you rush into telling someone something, you may make things worse for that person by telling them in a public area.
I hope these tips help you the next time you have to tell someone something difficult. Hopefully, this will help ease any anxiety or nervous energy you have, and allow for a better and more productive conversation with that person. Let me know what you think about these tips, and if you have any of your own. I know I'll be using these in the future as well for any difficult situations I find myself in.
Until next time,
Katie
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